Criticism - Gift or Fault Finding?

Maybe other people have stronger backbones, but critical reviews terrorize me, hurling me into mental self-flogging. You see I envisioned that my book is perfect, that it will be relished by readers who will throw rose pedals at my feet as I make my way into the literary world.  But, when faced with  my own imperfections as reported by a someone who is reported to 'know' good writing, an instinctual reaction sets in, creating a vortex that amplifies every fault finding judgement and nullifies anything positive or useful. I bury my head under a pillow, trying to snuff out the exposed imperfections that persistently bounce among the neurons in my brain. I eventually exhaust myself and fall into unsettled asleep.

I know this divination is both half-baked and half-assed, especially since I should know better. For much of my career I urged people to welcome all feedback, accept it as a gift, then embrace what is good and useful, and put the rest in the trash can or at least in a mislabeled file folder in backup cloud storage.  However, being someone’s coach and being that someone on the receiving end of criticism are two different animals. 

What can I do to pummel my torment into dust?  I turned to a longtime friend, colleague and voracious reader who I can count on for brutal honesty.  “You haven’t written a National Book Award or a Nobel Prize winning book," my friend said, "but you’ve certainly have written a great story.  It’s your first novel for goodness sake. Give yourself a break.”  I whimper a thank you.   

“What did the critic say needed fixing?” she asks.

“It needs another round of editing,” I report.

“So, do it,” she said. “Did the reviewer say anything good?”  I paused to reread the review.

“Well, he said that ‘the author’s compassionate characterization and fast paced-writing style will engage readers fascinated by 20th century lives…an affecting tale of love, loss and salvation led by a headstrong protagonist.”

“In my opinion, any woman reading this book will love your headstrong protagonist,” my friend said.

And so, look for a 2nd edition of Jack’s Gift. It’ll be the one with a cover that evokes the story within. The criticism was a gift. I found the good and the useful and I trashed the rest.