Connections
When I worked full time and all out, I engaged in awkward connection dances to forward my business and professional career. They centered on finding people to attach me to what I needed—a new job, an award, critical information, speaking engagements, and sales leads. A person’s usefulness was more important than creating friendships in these dances. The entire experience of quick conversations, hearty handshakes, and business card exchanges was tiresome, enervating, and degrading. I put up a charmingly strong front, but inside I felt like a pauper begging for a handout. Most of those business cards ended up in the wastebasket. In the end, people important in my business life were like my personal friendships. I built connections over time with patience and kindness, on common beliefs and values, and through shared experiences or shared knowledge of people we both could rely on.
No longer focused on business and retired, I plunged into mental sequestration and isolation. The quiet life was refreshing, but a desperate depression soon descended, fogging my mind. It frightened me. I was a social animal for 50 years while I worked and I wanted to remain a social animal for another 25.
How was I to rebuild connections on top of a mask wearing, stay at home pandemic? I couldn’t travel, invite people over for dinner or meet for coffee at a shop. Excursions were limited to the grocery store and workouts with my personal trainer in the open air. Six feet apart became my mantra.
The solution was to double down on technology—those ubiquitous internet tools and apps we love to hate. I’ve reconnected to reinforce my relationships with family, friends and past colleagues. I’ve even reconnected with previous husbands. Have all these people become BFFs? Certainly not, but knowing that they remember me and I remember them makes me happy.
The best connections are the surprise and enduring connections. Last week Sharon, a close friend that I lost contact with over 30 years ago, found me on Facebook. When we talked, time had not passed. My heart leapt with happiness to know her again.